grandchildren

It is sheer joy to think of my grandchildren let alone spend quality time with them. I am so fornunate that I have got to spend lots of time with them. One has to be blessed by God to have these opportunities. When we do have them seldom do we realise that these special years will fly away sooner than we know. Kids are a treat to watch, cuddle, teach and play with. No matter what mischief they are up to, we grandparents are very indulgent and rarely do we chide them or spank them . I am sure we all would have dealt with our own children in a more strict and harsh manner..Every little thing the grandchildren do amuses us and makes us so proud..I am  a kind, affectionate but no nonsense paati(grandma). When they want to hear songs i dont approve of so much..they tell their thatha...lets hear kolaveri song..lets not tell paati..and sneak off to the other bedroom where there is a laptop and on which he plays the song for them, and i pretend i dont hear it!!!!
It is a precious time that is given to us when they come home and we interact with them. There are many things we can do to make our life and time with them purposeful and worth the while...My husband and I have tried to teach the kids lots  of slokas, many rhymes, songs, action songs, pantomines and a few silly games which we used to play in our childhood. We have insisited on prayers every morning and evening as a rigour and ritual which we hope will become a habit and will help to make them more organised and focussed, ..By himself doing meditation and yoga, my husband has ingrained a bit of the usefulness of these habits and also that of exercise in our children. Whenever he goes out for a brisk walk in the morning to keep fit, they love to go along too and insist on holding his hands on either side and walking alongside him..only that they have to run  to keep pace with him..they say..thatha we are also coming for a brisk walk.!!!when he makes his veg and fruit and herbs health drink in the morning, they want to taste it too...but for them he adds honey so that it is palatable..another gentle way of teaching how to keep your system good and your bowels fit.
They want to hear a story or two at bedtime..so we tell them stories fro the mythology, jataka tales, birbal tales, tenali rama stories and panchatantra tales with a moral ..They not only learn about our religion but also about our great country and its kings and queens of yore..The fairy tales were also a part of this repetoire but by 4 yrs they have heard them all and want to move on to ramayana , mahabharata..both of which are epics andhave hundreds of sub plots too. One lifetime isnt enough to cover them all...
Bringing up grandkids also involves dressing them up in fine clothes. Its always a pleasure to go shopping for trinkets which in our imagination will make them look like princesses or prince charming...Whenever we go on trips outside of chennai all I can think of is buying something for the kids,,be it a toy or clothes or bangles, chains etc.
Last but not least is food...In my experience, I have taken a keen interest in all the culinary shows on Tv especially after we had grandkids, just to be able tomake them exotic dishes..tiramisu cheese cake,indian style, banana flowe tempura, vegetable manchurian, fried rice with a twist etc etc..ginger cookies, chocolate chipcookies..It may be parially due to the fact that we are comapratively freeer now then we were 25 years ago..It is more because we want to dish out the best for our grandkids and also because we had missed out some of these when our kids were growing up.
Whatever it is , without exception, grandparents all over the world adore their grandkids and would not mind going to any length to please their little , precious ones.
However I have to add one rider as a tail piece. All the above will happen only if the little ones are allowed to spend time with the grandparents. In some sad cases, the parents are so possessive of their kids, they fail to allow their parents this pleasure in their twilight years..Some grandparents are just used as babysitters and then cast away..My wish is for children to ensure that their kids get to spend as time as possible with the grandparents and for the grandparents also to utilise the time  meaningfully and happily

the glowing twilight years

The wonderful music recital by Anuradha and Sriram set me thinking about the bright facet of the 60 plus years....after all they are not so bad that one should crib about growing old..I now see how much freedom it has given me...free of the fetters and shackles of family chores of everyday life, the space to do what i like or enjoy...thats a lotof privilege, come to think of it!!I can wake up whn i please, go to bed late or early depending solely on how i feel, catch up with old songs, new songs, listen to them, enjoy and even try to learn those I wanted to master and perfect. I relish the time I get early in the morning at daybreak when I go to the terrace for a gentle walk, prayer chanting and just simply watch the sun rise in all its glory. The bonus is the basking my skin gets in the morning sunrays, which I am told is very good as we grow old and need all the Vitamin E and D we can get from the sunshine. I love the morning duty of drawing a kolam or rangoli after washing the floor. The next job is to pick flowers from our garden..what a delight to see so many flowers bloom..it takes about a whole half hour just plucking them them..then another hour and half making garlands of them for our gods and goddesses.I make a mental calculation of the number of garlands I have to make for the day..Mondays are for Lord Shiva, Tuesday fr Durga, Laxmi, Saraswathi and Murugan, wednesday for Vishnu and Saraswathi, , Thursday for Guru or Dakshinamurthy and friday for Devi , Saturdays are for Hanuman and Vishnu, Sundays for Suryaand ganapathi. Ofcourse we cant ignore Vinayaka any day....Same goes for our Kula devata Angalaparameswari devi.
If this activity isn't enough, there are the TV shows I watch with avid interest...especially the culinary shows. The idea is to learn some new dish, easy to cook and good to eat, for my grandkids..I do try them out too. My husband also likes some of them,,,IF they are healthy stuff...he is a health freak.!!!!
There is ample time to browse the internet, interact on facebook, check mail, reply mails etc etc.Internet also has facilitated finding what we want..whether it is a song or its lyrics..It helps you explore new genres of music..I have benefitted so much from all of these...Thanks to internet.
I have always been interested in sewing and embroidery. I find time to smock a frock, embroider a saree or do some fabric painting. Yet another interesting way to spend time is to do a scrapbook or two...Making a scrapbook with all the picures and tidbits about my grandkids has been a very refreshing and gratifying experience for me. Reliving my days in Singapore when my kids were bachelor kids, going through all those brochures on Sentosa, Science Centre, the MRTs schedules, my own travelogues,,,have all become possible with ease.
Grooming is important at every stage of one's life...These days we find time to make an appointment at a spa or a reputed ayurvedic massage centre and just go and enjoy the relaxation. That day we have a simple healthy meal so that we are rejenuvated for the next few months..
One thing to remember is to NOT be preoccupied with or chase money or material things when we have crossed 60. However much we may be tempted to rake in more moolah, it is OUR CHOICE to be satisfied with what we have.. If we have enough to live a fairly decent life , that should keep us happy.This is exactly what me and my husband are trying to achieve. I am also divesting ourselves of all things ..gadgets, trappings, that we do not need or have outlived their usefulness so that we have less things to worry about.
My husband enjoys reading on a variety of subjects..tamil novels, shortstories, watching old tamil movies40s 50s 60s movies, doing meditation and yoga, cooking what sweets and savories he likes to indulge in  once in a while and also preparing herbal fruit juices...his health concoction....and his brisk morning walks for which he has been noted and emulated by our flatmates
I immerse myself in poojas on tuesdays and fridays and love to communicate with the divine when I do so. My new revelation is that bhajan singing can be a very divine experience. Just love the show Bhajan Samraat which is aired on Sankara TV..Then last but not least is the interest in Astrology...Not a day passes without hearing the forecast for the day.This is followed by an armchair pilgrimage to all the temples that they show on all the TV channels. What a privilege to see them at home and not moving a finger.. As if this not all, I find time to read many bhakthi magazines we buy....
Another pastime is to note down home tips, culinary tips, health tips from ageold magazines I have preserved  and also write notes on temples, customs, rituals, pareiharams etc etc in another diary...old diaries find new use now like this!!!!
With all this activity, where is time for boredom or useless thought and deeds? Edgeways there is time to catch up with old schoolmates, collegemates and job mates via phone.
I am not minimising the duties we still have towards our children. The idea is to NOT interfere in their lives. If and when they need help they will ask and then we will do what is required. Else we mind our business and they theirs. That gives them their space too.
The one wish I have not been able to fulfil is to visit oldage homes and do some social service.
I hope I have painted a gold streaked rosy picture of my twilight years and hope that all who read this have a same one too..GOD bless

sixty plus...the mellowing and chastening years

I turned sixty last year ie 2011. I dont feel old, rather I feel young at heart and am still as enthusiastic about most matters as I have been over the years. Infact,I am more determined now to ensure that I preserve my singing voice( God has blessed me with a good voice ) than I ever was before. I used to take my singing prowess for granted!!!!.I am also very concerned about keeping good health and being mobile and agile. I take pains to see laziness doesnt creep in innocuously. That can be physically crippling in the long run.. It was so apt that my daughter bought me Shoba De's book about turning sixty and living a full life.
What  I intend to write about today is not any of the above mentioned matters...I am surprised about my slow transformation into a more mellow, chatened and forgiving person..I confess I wasnt  much of a forgiver.when slighted or hurt.Today I feel sympathy for those who hurt me , slight me or is rude to me.Why is this happening? I thought about it deeply this evening when I was strolling in the terrace after saying my prayers. I attribute this slow transformation to Divine grace, the power of prayer to change attitudes and also my age. Every single day we live beyond sixty is a boon. Therefore they are not to be wasted in vengeful, angry feelings. This decade after 60 makes one think a lot about the purpose of one's life and what one wants to achieve before one passes off.. Then the whole futility of illfeelings gets magnifies and one realises that peace , calm and happiness is experienced if one accepts every act  with resignation and detachment. I still get quite furious when my mather chastises me or gives me advice to be pleasant to all even when i dont feel so towards them. Nevertheless, I want to try and overcome my petty drawbacks,surmount my weaknesses and live the rest of my life a better person.
Here is how I want to do it..1. Try my best not to talk about anyone unnecessarily and never ill of anyone.
2.Not  to interfer in anyone's affair, or proffer advice unless asked for  it.3. Pray more every day so that I get God's grace and support. 4.Eat less, Sleep soundly, exercise ,walk, daily..5.Think like a child.6. Don't read between lines and dont dissect words spoken.
I feel lonely when i dont have conversations with people. ..I understand now that people are all busy and dont have time.. Lerts face it...its a dynamic and busy world.. If I can some of these in the next one month I shall write a continuation to this blog with updates. Wish me luck, followers of mine....

democracy or dictatorship...in politics and in social sphere

A notice pasted in our apartment notice board has urged me to write this blog. We all know that politics has gotten so rotten that it is not for nothing that Bernard Shaw so long ago remarked that poilitics  i s the last resort of scouldrels! Even a Anna Hazare with best and noble intentions is not able to make much headway so far. His efforts are systematically thwarted at every step and move.  Dictatorial tendencies are staring at us and we are nearly told that nothing can be done with corrupt officials, ministers and the like. There is no political will,,,,not that there are no means even when there is so much bold and startling evidence against the culprits..That being the scenario in politics we would expect to find some kind of honesty, peace and harmony in our social milieu.. It seems to be no different here too. Only the scale of operations is much smalller. In this case also it is use of public funds for common social good,  Seldom are the contributors to the fund even asked an opinion when a function is arranged or expenduture incurred. It is handled by a bunch of people who claim to be administering the whole thing. That does not give anyone the right to do as he/ she pleases. It is done in a spirit of service to humanity and is purely honorary work. No remuneration can be expected or should be. ( let alone take it themselves!!!).
Politics being so unclean these days, people have lost their patriotism..It is due to the scams, corruption and aggrandisement by politicians..Patriotism cannot be purchased by whipping or by putting conditions, issuing strictures or by threatening.. The confidence of the concerned public has to be reinvoked by good action, lending a ear to their problems and acting justly without fear ot favour. Jayalalita is doing just that. I hail her strategy. You cannot force people to come out and celebrate Independence day or republic day when their present sentiment may be that we were better off under the British. Likewise when there is general discontent, dissatisfaction with the way things are moving socially, how can one expect willing ot happy participation?It is like an invitation to a wedding with a note  in a corner of the invitation saying...good food and presents await those who attend the wedding..!!!
A more refined and diplomatic approach is imperative, The above reeks of immaturity, pettiness and a lack of class! I have the same feeling about cash prizes and doles before an election. It is almost like prostitution  in thought and word! As we climb higher in technology , our thoughts, deeds and action s should also be at a higher plane. Mediocrity seems to have set in ..lets cast it away before it engulfs us totally...

futility of attachments

Attachment is one item or feeling that the wise and sagacious would avoid like the plague. The reason for this has dawned on me well nigh over 60years of existence. I have been born a very warm and sentimental person and raised to love and be loved. Fortunately I  have had a happy and loving family., very warm parents and a host of cousins, sisters and a brother who have all showered their love  and affection on me..until very recently...My nieces and nephews have doted on me till they all grew up and learned the ways of this wicked world..Having basked in love and affection for about 50 years of my life, it is very painful and hard for me to now accept the reality that I now experience. I so sincerely and devoutly believed  that love begets love, gratefulness begets gratitude ,kinddeeds beget kindness in return.  It is now seen that most people have no time to think of kindness, gratitude or love. With a bundle of attachments taht I have accumulated over 60yrs, what do I do now ? It seems to be  futile. People do not want it nor are they willing to be tied down by affection. Maybe  it is my abberation. I oftentimes think..A lot has been said about attachments to anything in life because we have to leave them all behind when the time comes. That is why people get detached when they get on in years. It is easier to preach then practise detachment. We all succumb to feelings of joy or sorrow when it affects our own kids or our immediate family. How are seers able to remain stoically detached even in such circumstances." There is one answer.. They practise it at every step and this feeling has to grow on you, take roots and get firmly entrenched in our system. It is very difficult but what I now would like to try is just that. This is an age where our own flesh and blood would not hesitate to turn around and ask you why you still are attached to them and expect them to reciprocate the same!
How to begin doing it is the next poser. I think one should start with material things..,,,,,,,,,give up attachment to things..be it clothes, jewellery, etc ect..even good food. If we can gradually abstain from these by denying ourselves indulgences,resist temptations to buy a sari or jewel, or just observe upvas or fast on some days in a month, it would be the first step to abstinence thru restraint.This is also the period when we can give away what dont want to keep...better still give away what we want to keep ...or whatever we are attached to...
The next step would be to talk less amd slowly to take it to a mouna vrath practise on some days for a small duration. That time can be used to think of God.
It is important to avoid all kinds of gossip and lend no ear to any loose talk.If that is not done we could be dragged into the misery of attachment again.
The next step would be to devote more time to prayer and chanting slokas. This will surely give peace and calm and by the time we practise all these and try to live a more or less unattached life , we would be ready to touch HIS feet..

the incredible facebook

What facebook has done has revolutionized internet and its purpose has been stretched to amazing and incredible limits. I chanced upon facebook and being a very novice computer -user...in the sense that I hardly know anything technical about the computer or about its innumerable possibiliites.....I had to grope my way through to get on the socila networking site facebook and for that matter blogs too.  I did it all in fun and got myself into facebook and was quite wary initially about including unknown persons as friends, because I had heard about the inherent hazards that stalk social networking sites.
Initially I used to be so bugged with my daughter spending a lot of time interacting with people unknown, unseen and unheard on facebook! Now I have come to realize that one can make a lot of good friends on facebook, though literally not face to face, meet people with similar interest virtually, exchange views, share music, photos and thoughts.  After some time, these relationships grow on you, and become an integral part of one's life, so to say ,and who knows, these may be the people who will console you when u are sad or share your happiness whn you have something to feel joyful about., There are no strings attached to any of these relationships. Thats the best part..No obligations or favours..just pure camraderie and sharing and caring...It is a chance to like people whose faces we havent seen or may not even meet anytime. Ofcourse, we do see some faces in their profile pictures..and thats about it..get aglimpse of their family too from their profile if they choose to include those details...Soon facebookers  come to know that soand so is soand so's daughter, etc..Its interesting to open the page and see what people have written whether they like what you have said, whether they share the same sentiment etc. Its also fun toseethe photos uploaded, hear songs on U tube and remember great peots, singers etc depending on which group you belong to. There are differnet groups on facebookand we may join what interests us. song groups, travel groups , spiiritual groups etc.
i belong to a music group that is very active, interactive and passionate about music.we celebrate great singers, lyricicts, music directors, remember film stars' birthdays etc. There are also invites to music concerts and if one has time and interest and leisure one can even attend these.. I did attend one such music concert..shankar Jaikishen nite while I was in Bombay, thanks to my daughter, who got the tickets over the internet. I am sometimes overwhelmed by the enthusiasm and passion that people show when uploading old melodies.and thwe  discussion that follows is also quite a debate. People seem  to have so many facts and figures on thier fingertips!
There  is no agebar for joining facebook. Only thing is one must have a variety of interests to engage in debates or discussions on topics.I would say it makes me feel younger than I am really. Thanks to the founder of facebook. Its a lot of fun especially if we are on the wrong side of 60 provided we have humour and good spirit,and are willing to see different view points.